Loss and Gain
by Kris Pilar
Summary: A short one-shot on how a young city elf comes to a decision on a fitting name for her mabari war hound.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Dragon Age: Origins_ or anything related to it.

**xxxxx**

Camp was quiet tonight and I was fine with it. All I had to listen to was the crackling fire, which was all I wanted. The darkspawn attack earlier was still fresh on my mind and I didn't feel like talking tonight.

I felt something on my leg and looked down as the mabari war hound rested his head there, looking up at me with an expression begging for attention. He had arrived only seconds before the darkspawn earlier, while I was traveling to Lothering with the two humans. The loyal hound had been looking for me, one of the humans said. Apparently, he had imprinted on me.

The human Warden insisted that I name my hound soon, but I had yet to settle on a name fitting for such a fine warrior.

I reached over to pet the hound, my eyes lingering on the wedding band around my ring finger. A simple copper band plated with small gold flecks and a vine engraving around it. It was the most important and treasured thing I owned. Aside from the torn, bloody wedding dress I still had folded in the bottom of my traveling pack.

A familiar pang of sorrow washed over me as Nelaros's face came forward in my mind.

This was not the life I had dreamed of living. I was supposed to be married to a wonderful man right now. I should be happy with Nelaros, maybe even giving my father a grandchild. I wasn't supposed to be sitting along a road in rough leather armor splattered with blood, planning to travel Ferelden to raise an army against a Blight.

I sighed, trying to push back the thoughts of the night my life was ruined, but it didn't help. I despised the humans for what they did to my cousin. She was broken now, and would likely remain so for a long, long time. If she ever recovered at all. But she still had her life, what little of it was left after her experience. She had survived. Unlike my Nelaros.

I had been nervous about the wedding at first. All I had heard was what a wonderful man Nelaros was and how I was lucky to have gotten such a fine match. It kept me wondering how I could possibly live up to that. I was afraid Nelaros would have taken one look at me, realized I would never be deserving of him, and run away, refusing to follow tradition and marry me.

Then I met Nelaros and every worry vanished. I knew the first moment I talked to him that we would be wonderful together. He was so caring and I felt so comfortable around him. I knew things would have been perfect—at least, as perfect as any life in an alienage _could_ be.

But the humans had to steal that from me. When Soris had told me that Nelaros had come with him to rescue me and the other women from the wedding, I was relieved. Until I opened that one door just as one of the guards brought his sword down on Nelaros, ending his life.

I had been horrified. Soris and I struck down the guards quickly, bloodying our clothes even more, but it made little difference. Nelaros was dead. Dear, sweet Nelaros was gone.

I couldn't stop my tears as I dropped next to my lost betrothed, the blood from the guards staining the white fabric of the dress I was supposed to be married in. Poor Nelaros had been holding the wedding ring in his hand—the ring he had meant to give me. The ring that he made for me with his own two hands at his father's forge.

I wore the ring all the time now. I may not have been able to marry Nelaros, but he was still my husband. He always would be. Nothing was going to change that.

I just wish I felt deserving of such a brave, caring, wonderful man. He died to save me and all I wanted now was to turn away. I didn't want to be a Grey Warden. I wanted to live a normal life and return to my father and cousins.

I sighed, shaking off the memory as I returned my attention to the mabari. In a way, he reminded me a little of Nelaros. Both had came for me, venturing through countless dangers to do so at that. Both had been determined to come to my side. To stay by me no matter what.

Unlike my Nelaros, however, the hound succeeded in his mission. He was here now, by my side, obviously planning to stay.

I lost the life I was meant to have. Lost the person I was to spend the rest of my life with. In return, I had a life I never wanted. Though I also gained a new companion who would be just as loyal and also stay by my side for life.

Yes, this hound was very similar to my lost husband. I grinned a little, patting the mabari on the head, finally deciding on a truly fitting name for my new companion.

"I'm glad to have you at my side, Nelaros."


End file.
